You wouldn't expect some mail-order bride to manage your investment portfolio. So if you're cool with form over function, this pretty stainless-steel slider is a safe bet. The 2-megapixel camera snapped surprisingly clear pics, thanks to high-quality optics — you can even use the mirrored display to check for errant nose hairs beforehand. In short, the LG Shine is the sharpest tool in a drawer of ... well, spoons.
Motorola Moto Z10 
$500 
This slick, media-centric slider curves to your face and has a nice 3.2-MP camera. But its OS is harder to penetrate than Falken's Maze.
Sanyo Katana LX $250 
Beneath that lustrous LCD-laced indigo shell lurk a pixelated display and sluggish OS. Pass.
Nokia 6205 $240 
A chintzy case with V Cast-handcuffed media, 1.3-megapixel camera, and a Dark Knight decal? Jokers!